AZ Republic: When it rains it pours

República’s “comic strip umbrella” foretells not so funny tale

Like most conservatives, we’ve had our fill with the one-sided news delivered by the daily newspaper we refer to — for obvious reasons — as The Periódico de la República de Arizona (Arizona Republic). But as much as we disdain the disseminator of leftist propaganda, we have to admit that it’s difficult to watch the demise of the newspaper that was thrown onto our driveway, in turn, by the four sons of the neighbors down the block when we were all kids.

That was back in the days before molesting route managers and fear of gang members engaging in drive-by initiations on dark winter mornings. It was a simpler time. We trusted the news, and, foolishly,  even Walter Cronkite. Elections were trustworthy. Favorite Halloween treats were Mrs. Koury’s homemade popcorn balls and rich fudge brownies at the corner house where the “new” family moved in five years earlier. There was no reason to be concerned about razor blades in the fresh, autumn crop of delicious apples.

And the newspaper?  It actually contained news, written with style, using high-quality syntax and lacking a homosexual and pro-illegal agenda. Oversized photos taking up half a page already filled with white space, and an ongoing series on “vanished” restaurants would have been unthinkable when real journalists tuned out hard news. Legislators were not derisively referred to as “kooks” by columnists. And along with twice a day mail delivery, we got two newspapers a day — the Arizona Republic in the morning and the Phoenix Gazette in the afternoon, so Dad would have the latest news as he awaited a good home-cooked dinner.

Those days are gone. The paperboys and eventually, girls, on their bikes were replaced by adults in cars after a couple of entrepreneurial kids were murdered. The AZ República is failing, gasping for air as subscriptions evaporate.

And recently, the newspaper hit — not the driveway, but our computer inbox with a cut-rate ad that speaks clearly of the serious decline it’s facing. In bold red type is the hawking announcement of a “72 HOUR SALE!  SUBSCRIBE TODAY FOR $1.62 PER WEEK! Get all the content you love, plus a free comic strip umbrella!”

Betch’a the umbrella was made in China.

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8 Responses to AZ Republic: When it rains it pours

  1. Orion says:

    Umbrellas and cut rate subscriptions? Diagnosis? ill health, death imminent.

  2. PV Voter says:

    I do not (we stopped our subscription over three years ago) and will not, miss the Repulsive when it finally takes its last gasp. It is a blight on the Arizona landscape.

  3. Vince says:

    I think the newspaper’s 72-hour “sale” is hilarious. It shows the depth of their desperation. I suspect if someone contacted them on the 78th hour, they’d qualify for the budget price, too.

  4. chick20112011 says:

    They (RAG bosses and editors) know what to do to bring back life to it. Honestly report the news instead of opinion-piece-news. That they refuse to and would rather go down with the ship, taking a lot of people whom work for this RAG and have no say in the editorial/news left-turn which ruined this paper, speaks VOLUMES. They (Valdez and ilk) would rather the little people lose their jobs than to STOP the leftist/socialist/illegal immigrant AGENDA. The dishonest leftists that run and “report” in that RAG will have a nice buyout and jobs waiting for them in some Democrat or Progressive office. They could care less what happens to the non-agenda employees.

  5. Saguaro Sam says:

    Here’s a news flash for the Rag:
    “The committee that will soon vet the next secretary of state will have a new Republican heavyweight next year: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), the man leading the charge against potential nominee U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice.”

    Seems fitting, since McCain has been photographed with his arm around John Heinz57 Kerry and has been publicly referring to him as Mr. Secretary.

    It’s a legit story, ragsters. Just copy and paste!

  6. eubykdisop says:

    Never has a “newspaper” so EARNED going out of business!

  7. chick20112011 says:

    Good Lord, Valdez is recommending Grijalva as Sec.of the Interior. lol Valdez is getting nuttier by the day.

  8. Derek Trotter says:

    The giving away of umbrellas to new subscribers shows just how out of touch with reality the management at the rag are. In Arizona umbrellas are these things people from back east bring with them. They are put in a closet and never used again.

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